Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

"There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven. A time to give birth and a time to die; A time to plant and a time to uproot what is planted. A time to kill and a time to heal; A time to tear down and a time to build up. A time to weep and a time to laugh; A time to mourn and a time to dance. A time to throw stones and a time to gather stones; A time to embrace and a time to shun embracing. A time to search and a time to give up as lost; A time to keep and a time to throw away. A time to tear apart and a time to sew together; A time to be silent and a time to speak. A time to love and a time to hate; A time for war and a time for peace." Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Tough Conversations

Sunday's sermon was about talking TO our friends who claim to be Christians, fellow Christ followers, who are making wrong choices, instead of talking ABOUT them/their choices. WHY is it so hard for us to speak in love to them, about wrong/bad choices they are making? If we REALLY DO LOVE THEM, why would we not want to help them go in the correct path??

I know for myself I have a few friends who claim to be christians, but are totally not living LIKE Christ.  Their "faith" consists of just believing in Christ, but they are making "wrong" life choices.  I have a hard time talking to them, because I too, made wrong choices in my past. I am definitely not perfect and definitely still struggle with choosing what Christ would want vs. my fleshy- world-loving self. I struggle with them thinking I am judging them. I have been accused of that, when I wasn't even telling someone what to do, they just "felt" like I felt I was better than them, and that really was like a slap in the face, as I have always tried REALLY hard to not be that judgmental christian. But maybe that's what that the problem was. It was ME trying. It was not me asking God to help me be more like Him.

And so, here I am. Wanting desperately to talk to these people I LOVE so much, that their unhealthy choices actually really causes me to hurt FOR them, and I am praying for God to speak through me and to use me to show them I love them and want THE BEST. Not that I am judging them, but that their actions and choices, are leading them down a painful path.
I feel like I need to have the "right" answers for them and what they need to do next instead, but I don't. I have asked God for it, but maybe that is what HE needs to show them, IF/WHEN THEY ask Him?

Tough conversations are just that... tough. I am not wanting fear to hold me back, or denial that they aren't heading in a good direction, or being a slacker to what God is wanting me to do and ignoring His request... but I don't know how to start a conversation that is tough like this.

Do you know someone you need to have a tough conversation with? This isn't a time to point out flaws and sins, its a time to point out Christ and His Love and our desire to truly HELP our friend(s). Not that we know everything, at all! But that we love them so much, we are WILLING to have that tough conversation.
-bek-

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