There have been some big things happening in out lives right now. Some good, some not so good, some sad. In the last month We have celebrated 4 family birthdays (Karlie, Jon, Katrina & Caleb), mourned the loss of a besty's mil, the loss of my grandma's dear close friend Pete, & the loss of my friend's friend's nephew who was only 4 months old, rejoiced with my friend Ashley who just gave birth to her sweet Aliyah Grace, was offered a great job in S. CA & contemplated moving there - turned it down, have been offered a house to be bought for us while we sell our house - have been house hunting since, did the family Halloween visiting, loving my weekly womens bible study, hosting our weekly life group & sharing life with those friends, enjoyed having friends over for a playdate, trying to learn how to simplify and de-clutter life, getting frustrated with yet determined to save money with couponing, running around with a 1yr old, babysitting nieces, surviving the cold weather and beautiful first snowfalls while making Thanksgiving plans with our two families, and trying to make it a point to reach out to family & friends more.
It has felt like A LOT going on... and now that I see it written out... it has been a lot. Ups, Downs, Ups. Busy busy busy.
But its been good. God is good.
Often I feel so overwhelmed, not knowing where to even begin. I have lists with lists on them. I quit making lists as it just felt like nothing was happening, and more stuff just needed doing.
Now that we are house-hunting, I feel more pressure to clean out our home and start on the fixing-up for selling it.
And then, I get to catch a running, smiley, goofy-toothed happy baby that is smiling just for me. WOW. This love that God created in us for our children is amazing. NOTHING feels so full and precious and special. I am in awe of how much I love this girl. I knew I loved her before she was born, but that love grows and multiplies... to think that the Lord loves us even more, blows my mind. I can't imagine loving a child more. I would if I could, but I feel like I could burst at times.
I definitely have a new appreciation for my mom.
And it gives me new eyes to look at choices that I make... and ones my friends make.
I think how I would hate for Karlie to make some of the choices my friends are making, or ones I have made. All I want to do is protect her and give her the best. I want her to be deeply in love with the Lord and I pray that HE can keep working on & changing me so that I can be a good example for her to follow.
I now understand how it must hurt the Lord when we sin and make bad choices... for I mourn when my friends make choices that are not the best. I look at them with these mother eyes and wonder what their mom would think? Not in a judging way, because I do not think I am any better, but in a way that I want to protect them too, I want to help them succeed and not go through unnecessary pain and bad things. But I have to remember that I have a BIG God. That I can trust the Lord to take care of them and keep after them, so that I can just love them and be there for them. That HE has a plan and purpose for all of us, even when we stumble, even when we make bad choices, and that HE really does love us unconditionally with an abundant love that we cannot fathom.
so, in all these chapters of life... my BIG God is there. He is holding & healing the hurting hearts, He is cheering on the rejoicing, He is directing our paths as we seek His ways. In each chapter, He is the continuous presence.
"There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven. A time to give birth and a time to die; A time to plant and a time to uproot what is planted. A time to kill and a time to heal; A time to tear down and a time to build up. A time to weep and a time to laugh; A time to mourn and a time to dance. A time to throw stones and a time to gather stones; A time to embrace and a time to shun embracing. A time to search and a time to give up as lost; A time to keep and a time to throw away. A time to tear apart and a time to sew together; A time to be silent and a time to speak. A time to love and a time to hate; A time for war and a time for peace." Ecclesiastes 3:1-8